Following are some Alexei Sayle quotes which we have in our database of Quotes of Alexei Sayle.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
If you travel to the States… they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'… they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.
Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.
Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like 'Brothers in Arms' and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
Recently, my personal advisors have been telling me to go to America. Actually, people have been walking up to me in the street and telling me to sod off, but that's the same thing, isn't it?
Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you.
The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away.
I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.
I would say I was still a Marxist - which is not to be confused with being a Communist. Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else.
But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city.
First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.
However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven't done.
The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.
I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.
For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.
I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't… You can't live your life for your routines.
I've accentuated the look over the years. As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.
A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.
I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right