Following are some Ambrose Bierce quotes which we have in our database of Quotes of Ambrose Bierce.
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Genius - to know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.
Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms against himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.
I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.